While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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