Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
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