Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
