So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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