So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
