do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
