I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
