you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
