i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
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you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize