My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
