Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
