I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
