Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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