im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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