Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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