I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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