Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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