So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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