i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
