We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I hate all girls vehemently.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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