Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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