nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
