that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize