don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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