My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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