Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
