The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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