found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
there's paper in my vomit.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
