Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
