Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
