it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
The best revenge is premature balding
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
