I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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