I will die if light touches me.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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