there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
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