ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
