3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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