Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I need a beard to bite.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
