Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
