well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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