I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
