we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
