Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Randomize
