Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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