glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
