Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
