I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
A+ Viking dick
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize