i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
True college students do jello shots in the library
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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