the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
