Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
