foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
