I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
