I never want to see another naked old woman again.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
