She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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