"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize