I need help removing her.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
