Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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