How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Randomize
