arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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