I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
