how hairy? two words: wookie tits
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
