seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
