She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
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