Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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