mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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