If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.