i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.