Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.