thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.